Leann & Marina by Andrea - Australia

TTTS Parent Stories: Born Still, But Still Born

Hi, my name is Andrea and I would like to share with you the very short, but very precious lives of my only daughters, Leann Rose and Marina Rose. My husband Robert and I found out we were having another baby in late February of 2003. Considering the fact that we have two boys at home with us now, we were hoping for a girl. We were all hoping for a girl. I have dreamed of having a daughter of my very own since I was a child. When I had my first ultra sound I was told that I was having twins. I do have twin brothers, but my mom had taken fertility drugs, so, I never thought I would have twins. I was so overwhelmed with joy. I was not only blessed with one baby, but two. Identical twin girls are what I was hoping for. I would have been happy regardless, but if I had a choice, identical twin girls is what I wanted. A couple of months later we were told the sexes of the babies. I was getting exactly what I wanted the most . . . two daughters of my very own.

My pregnancy was basically uneventful, up until I went to the prenatal doctors on September 31. I was told then that baby b, (Marina Rose), had too much fluid in her sac. However, I was told it was nothing to worry about and I could talk with my doctor tomorrow. October 1st was when I had my next appointment with my OB. He didn’t mention anything about what was found the previous day, so I did. When I asked if one of my babies has too much fluid in their sac, was that anything to worry about, he said, no. I had no reason not to believe him. So I left that appointment thinking everything was going great. My babies were 31 weeks gestation at my last appointment.

On October 5th, I mentioned to my mom that I hadn’t felt any movement from my girls since the night before. I was hoping that maybe I was just so busy that I didn’t notice them moving. I had been really busy since the night before because October 5 was their dad’s birthday. My husband came home from work to stay with our two sons, so my Mom could take me to the hospital. . At the hospital they took me in right away and hooked me up to the monitor. I had a terrible feeling in my gut. I knew deep down inside of me that something was very wrong. Up until a couple of days ago, constant kicking is all I felt. Having twins, you get kicked in every direction all at the same time. I knew they were gone but I couldn’t get myself to say it. Three different nurses tried to find their heartbeats with no luck. The only heartbeat that was found was mine.

So the ultra sound lady was called in. I kept asking if everything was okay, but all they said was I would have to wait for the doctor to talk to me. I was really getting upset by this time. I asked the lady doing the ultra sound if she could just turn her monitor toward me so I could see for myself. I know what it should look like, I had an ultra sound done every single time I went to the doctors. She said she couldn’t. I then asked for my mom to be brought in. When she walked through the door and seen me sobbing she knew something was wrong. I told her they can’t find their heartbeats. She called for the doctor and it was then that we were told that both of my precious daughters had passed away. I couldn’t believe it. This can’t be happening is all I thought. I just went to the doctors three days ago and everything was going great. My mom called for my husband to come right away. When he got the call his mother just happened to be there. She was delivering the second basinet. That was the only thing we needed to get before Leann and Marina were to be born. So they all rushed to the hospital to be there for me.

My life had been shattered. Never did I ever imagine life without my sweet little girls. I asked if I could be induced after midnight because I didn’t want our daughters’ birth/death date to be the same as their father’s birthday. So at midnight they began to induce me. After 15 hours, with no luck, I was ordered to have a C-section. So on October 6, 2003, I gave birth to Leann Rose at 5:36 p.m. and two minutes later Marina Rose entered this world. The only cries that could be heard in the room were that of two very broken hearted parents.

We held our daughters’ lifeless bodies in our arms. Both of their grandmas also got the chance to hold them. As well as their Aunt Chris and Aunt Kacy. Leann and Marina were perfect little babies. Leann weighing 3 lbs. 6 oz and Marina was 4 lbs. 1 oz. We laid our daughters to rest on October 15, 2003. It was so hard to say goodbye. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to face.

I miss my daughters every single day. Losing them was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever felt in my life, but I would relive that day right now if I could. Just so I could have them back in my arms again. Yes, their lives were very short, but they have made such an impact on mine and my families lifes. We will always miss our beautiful twin girls, Leann and Marina and wish that they could have stayed.

“Born Still, But Still Born” 

“Gone From Our Sight But Never Our Memories Gone From Our Touch But Never From Our Hearts”

“Life Can Be The Same If A Trinket Is Lost But Not After The Loss Of A Treasure”